🔒 Privacy Policy
Last updated: March 2026
This is the privacy policy for Rich Retards (richretards.com), operated by Centipede Software. We're going to keep this as straightforward as possible because, unlike a predatory lease agreement, we actually want you to read this.
What We Collect
- Email address — Only if you sign up for our newsletter. We need it to, you know, send you the newsletter.
- Usage analytics — Basic stuff like page views and traffic sources. We use privacy-respecting analytics. No creepy tracking.
- Cookies — Minimal cookies for site functionality. No third-party advertising cookies.
What We DON'T Collect
- Your financial data (we're not a bank, relax)
- Your social security number (wtf)
- Your crypto wallet addresses
- Anything beyond what's listed above
How We Use Your Data
- Sending you the weekly newsletter (if you subscribed)
- Understanding which content our readers find useful
- Making the site better
- That's literally it
Who We Share Data With
Nobody. We don't sell your email. We don't share your data with "partners." We don't do any of that sketchy stuff we write articles about.
Third-Party Links
Our site contains links to other websites (like Fineprint). We're not responsible for the privacy practices of other sites. Read their policies. Actually, read everything before you click "I agree." That's kind of our whole brand.
Your Rights
- Unsubscribe — Every newsletter has an unsubscribe link. One click. Done.
- Data deletion — Want us to delete your data? Email us and we'll nuke it.
- Access — Want to know what data we have? Ask us. (Spoiler: it's just your email.)
Security
We use reasonable security measures to protect your data. That said, no system is 100% secure. If you're worried about data breaches, maybe don't use "password123" for everything.
Changes
We may update this policy. If we make significant changes, we'll let you know through the newsletter or on the site.
Contact
Questions about privacy? Contact us.
This privacy policy is written in plain English because we believe legal documents should be readable by humans, not just lawyers. If you want help understanding other privacy policies or contracts, check out Fineprint.